NO Speak English

NO Speak English 
 
A German woman married an American gentleman born in Virginia and they lived happily ever after in his home town.

The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. 

One day, she went to the butcher counter and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts. 

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...

(Please scroll down.)

What were you Thinking? 


Her husband speaks English....hellooo!

I worry about you Sometimes!

" ভালবাসা আর কান্না "

এক গুচ্ছ গোলাপ হাতে একটা ছেলে একটা মেয়েকে বলল : " আমি তোমাকে ভালোবাসি । "

মেয়েটির চোখে জল দেখে একটু মুচকি হেসে ছেলেটা আবার বলল : " কই ফুল গুলো দেখি.....
আমি আসলে দুষ্টুমি করছিলাম । আমি তোমাকে ভালোবাসি না । "

মেয়েটা অবাক । বলল কি বলছো এসব ?

ছেলে : তোমাকে সারাজীবন ভালোবাসার কথা না বলে থাকতে পারব , কিন্তু তোমার চোখের জল আমি সহ্য করতে পারব না,, বলে দিলাম ।

মেয়ে : আমি প্রতিদিন হাজারটা বার কাঁদতে চাই সুখে,, তোমার মুখ থেকে ভালোবাসি কথাটা শুনে।




~~~Credit goes to original script writer.

Falling in love is Easy...

THINK HIGHER

Laws of Success

The great sin -- Gossip.
The great crippler -- Fear.
The greatest mistake -- Giving up.
The most satisfying experience -- Doing your duty first.
The best action -- Keep the mind clear and judgment good.
The greatest blessing -- Good health.
The biggest fool - The man who lies to himself.
The great gamble -- Substituting hope for facts.
The most certain thing in life -- Change.
The greatest joy -- Being needed.
The cleverest man -- The one who does what he thinks is right.
The most potent force -- Positive thinking.
The greatest opportunity -- The next one.
The greatest thought -- God.
The greatest victory -- Victory over self.
The best play -- Successful work.
The greatest handicap -- Egotism.
The most expensive indulgence -- Hate.
The most dangerous man -- The liar
The most ridiculous trait -- False pride.
The greatest loss -- Loss of self confidence.
The greatest need -- Common sense.

Oye Sardarji Tusi Great Ho............

Each Friday night after work, Sardar ji would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbors were strict Catholics ... And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Sardar ji and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Sardar ji attended Mass... And as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, You were born a Sikh, and raised as a Sikh, but from now, you are a Catholic."

Sardar ji's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.

The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Sardar ji's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Sardar ji, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you were born a chicken, and you were born a lamb, you were raised as a chicken and you were raised as a lamb but now onwards you are a potato and you are a tomato..

Energy Of A Home

Our homes are filled with energy that we create and allow to flourish. In many cases, our relationship with the pulse of our homes is passive rather than active because we do not pay particular heed to the energy that has been established. It is only when we regard these spaces as unique entities that we begin to understand why it is necessary to take charge of the energy that fills our homes. Stagnant, inharmonious energy can find its way into our dwellings through many avenues. Previous occupants, builders, visitors, and the individuals who maintain a home leave a strong energy imprint behind. Objects and symbols can also have an effect on the energy of a residence. When we are aware of all that can influence the energy of our spaces, we are empowered to create harmonious homes that do more than meet our need for shelter.

Exercising care with regard to who and what we invite into our homes is one of the easiest ways we can ensure that the energy within remains loving and supportive. It is not always possible to keep potentially harmful people and possessions from entering our homes, but we can take precautions. Individuals can be kept from private spaces like bedrooms and meditation areas, while property can be purified through cleansing or smudging. During periods of remodeling or construction, Reiki symbols and other positive imagery can be printed on surfaces that will later be covered by walls or flooring. Though hidden, these will continue to attract good energy and cleanse the existent energy. Blessings can also be drawn in plain sight, where they remind us of how potently our home's energy can affect our own.

A home can appear beautiful, comfortable, and stable while still serving as a dwelling place for negative or otherwise offensive energy. If you care for your home conscientiously and with great care, you will instinctively look beyond the surface qualities of your home when assessing how it feels. Since you actively guard your home against the intrusion of unwelcome energy, you will have the time and vigor necessary to cope with it constructively when should it appear in your midst. The spirit of your spaces will respond to your thoughtful ministrations, nurturing and supporting you for as long as you choose to reside within her walls.

Sources :http://www.dailyom.com/

No Hard Edges...

When our minds are cluttered with too many thoughts and information, our bodies respond by trying to take action.

Our minds and bodies are interconnected, and the condition of one affects the condition of the other. This is why meditation is such a powerful tool for healing the body, as powerful as physical therapies. When our minds are cluttered with thoughts, information, and plans, our bodies respond by trying to take action. When the body has a clear directive from the mind, it knows what to do, but a cluttered, unfocused mind creates a confused, tense body. Our muscles tighten up, our breath shortens, and we find ourselves feeling constricted without necessarily knowing why.

When we sit down to meditate, we let our bodies know that it is okay to be still and rest. This is a clear directive from the mind, and the body knows exactly how to respond. Thus, at the very beginning, we have created a sense of clarity for the body and the mind. As we move deeper into meditation, the state of our mind reveals itself, and we have the opportunity to consciously decide to settle it. A meditation teacher pointed out that if you put a cow in a small pen, she acts up and pushes against the boundaries, whereas if you provide her with a large, open space, she will peacefully graze in one spot. In the same way, our thoughts settle down peacefully if we provide them with enough space, and our bodies follow suit.

When we settle down to examine and experience our consciousness, we discover that there are no hard, definable edges. It is a vast, open space in which our thoughts can come and go without making waves, as long as we let them by neither attaching to them nor repressing them. As we see our thoughts come and go, we begin to breathe deeper and more easily, finding that our body is more open to the breath as it relaxes along with the mind. In this way, the space we recognize through meditation creates space in our bodies, allowing for a feeling of lightness and rightness with the world.

Sources : http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/23738.html

Life Happiness Is Depends On Your Life Goal...

There are a lot of books talking about how to be happy. It seems like everybody is looking for happiness.

Somebody reads a lot of books just to look for happiness in their life. It is hardly to find a book which relates your happiness with your life goal.

Somebody does not know which education course is good for them. Somebody does not know which shirt or dress to choose. Somebody even does not know what to choose for lunch. Somebody likes to ask for other opinion on their own problem. And their life keeps repeating all these kind of things without thinking of solving them. Why people feel difficult to make a simple decision? People thought that this suppose to be a life for an ordinary human being?

Life is actually very simple. It is all depends on your life goal. If you don’t have a life goal or not clear about your life goal, your life will be not simple anymore, always facing some difficulties and unhappy things. If you don’t know which course is suitable for you, you are not clear about your life goal. If you ask for advice( not referring to knowledge ) from others on your own life, you are not clear about your life goal.

I strongly believe that, when you don’t know which shirt should be worn today, you should ask yourselves what is your life goal. When you feel angry with somebody, you should ask yourselves what is your life goal. When you worry about what will be your examination result, you should ask yourselves what is your life goal. We should be responsible on our own emotion. If you think you are in some kind of emotion which you don’t like, then you should ask yourselves what is wrong with you. Your life goal is not OK? Or even worst, you don’t have one clear goal.

Why we may allow one same problem to be happened again? Why don’t we try to solve it once for our life? We thought problem is normal for an ordinary human being? We thought life suppose to be filled by many unhappy events/things? We seems like not responsible on our emotion.

If we have set up our life goal, we should be responsible on all the consequences of it, including our emotion. If we can’t accept such consequences, then we suppose to adjust the goal. The goal could makes our life full of excitement. The goal could makes us always in trouble. The goal could makes our life simple and happy. What kind of life you want all depends on your goal. Please don’t blaim that unhappy is normal for human being. Asking for advice for our own life is really ridiculous. How people may helps if people does not know about your life goal and only you are clear about your own life goal. Somebody even supplies advice base on their own life goal, instead of yours. They thought if they solve the problem using this way you should also use the same way.

Let say you are going to select an education course for your university, and there are course A and course B infront of you. Please ask yourselves, if you choose course A, are you going towards your goal? If you choose course B, are you going towards your goal? If both courses allowing you to achieve your goal, then simply choose one. If only course A allowing you to achieve your goal, then choose course A. If both courses are not allowing you to achieve your goal, then looks for the course which allows you to achieve your goal. What is so difficult? The difficult part is, if we don’t have a life goal. If so, nobody can helps you. You can’t ask somebody on how to solve your problem.

The existence of the problem is coming from you. It is not coming from the environment. Of course there are a lot of people solving the course problem through another method. They try to find out which course is more popular or which course may makes them earn more money in future. These kind of consideration is no longer coming from yourselves( internal factor ). It is an external factor. If you got a wrong information, found it after joining the course and feel angry on it, what is the cause of your anger? It is caused by yourselves, not caused by the person who gave you the information. At the time you use this kind of method in choosing your course, you should be aware of this kind of risk and accept all the consequences.

Happiness is a personal thing. So in doing whatever job, making whartever decision, we should do it ourselves and not letting other to do it for us. We have to make the decision base on what we want for our life. We can’t( just my suggestion ) let other to decide our happiness. If you allow other to decide it for you, then you have to accept the consequences and be happy with whatever you will be facing. It is hardly to find a person who let other to control their life and still feel very happy on their life.

The main factor to differentiate adults with kids is, adults could take responsibility and knowing very well about the consequences but kids could not. If we look around, we may find a lot of people with an adult body who can’t take responsibility and don’t know or don’t care about the consequences. Especially of they can’t responsible on their own emotion. Our emotion is actually the result of our choice.

Our life goal is our choice. We should think deeply to find a best goal for ourselves. We are having 100% of the power to choose our own life goal base on our interest and what we want for our life. After decided the goal, we live according to our goal. Whatever happened after that are affecting our emotion. So the emotion is the result of our life goal. The emotion is the result of our own choice.

Source : http://www.doublemelodies.com/LifeHappinessIsDependsOn.html

Trust ............

Story told by a man which is most frightening yet thought-provoking experience of his life.

He had been on a long flight.. The first warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on:

"Fasten your seat belts."

Then, after a while, a calm voice said, "We shall not be serving the beverages at this time as we are expecting a little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened.."

As he looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive. Later, the voice of the announcer said, "We are so sorry that we are unable to serve the meal at this time..

The turbulence is still ahead of us."

And then the storm broke. The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines. Lightening lit up the darkening skies, and within moments that great plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean. One moment the airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if it were about to crash.

The man confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around him. He said, "As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the passengers were upset and alarmed. Some were praying.

The future seemed ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm. And then, I suddenly saw a girl to whom the storm meant nothing. She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat and was reading a book.

Everything within her small world was calm and orderly. Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would straighten her legs, but worry and fear were not in her world. When the plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm, when it lurched this way and that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity, when all the adults were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and unafraid."

The man could hardly believe his eyes. It was not surprising therefore, that when the plane finally reached its destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark, he lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time.

Having commented about the storm and behavior of the plane, he asked why she had not been afraid.

The sweet child replied,

*

*

*

*

*

"Sir, my Dad is the pilot, And he is taking me home."

Moral : Without trust there is nothing...

Knowing is the Key...

The first step to getting what you want in life is knowing what you want....

The first step to getting what you want in life is knowing what you want. This may sound obvious, but a surprising number of us are going through life without really coming to terms with the truth of what we want. There are many reasons for this, and they range from parental influences that curb our imaginations to external factors that curb our ability to take action. We may feel that getting too caught up in exploring our deepest desires is wasted energy when it seems we want things beyond our grasp. This is a very practical attitude and has its benefits, but it can be safely balanced with a more imaginative and unlimited approach to the question of what we want.

Perhaps you are 40 years old and find within yourself a desire to be a ballet dancer. You see the impracticality and seeming impossibility of this idea, so you reject it without exploring it. But perhaps you should allow yourself to feel this desire and perhaps even take a dance class. Allowing yourself to participate in ballet in small ways may provide inspiration that leads you in a new direction in life. And time spent doing what you want to do is never wasted because it generates energy that can fuel the rest of your life.

You can begin to uncover and discover what you want by doing a simple, timed writing exercise. Set your timer for 15 minutes and write without stopping, starting every sentence with the words “I want.” Writing without stopping for a set period of time enables your inner voice to override your inner censor and helps to unearth buried dreams. It also creates a feeling of relief in the mind, heart, and body. This exercise can also be practiced orally, alone or in the company of a friend. You might try doing this exercise every morning for a week, looking back at the end of the week to see what has come up. Sometimes the simple act of expressing a want actually releases it, while other yearnings retain their energy, asking us to pay attention. When we pay attention to what we want, we are that much closer to getting it.

Chicken Pox...

What Is Chicken Pox?

Chickenpox is a rash illness caused by a virus. Once a person is exposed to the chickenpox virus, it takes between 2 and 3 weeks before the symptoms appear. Chickenpox usually occurs in childhood. Adults who contract chicken pox are usually more ill, especially with pneumonia. Chickenpox is very common and highly contagious. Approximately 3 million cases occur each year in the United States . More than 90% of Chickenpox cases occur in children less than 12 years of age.

Symptoms of Chickenpox?

The symptoms of chickenpox vary from individual to individual. Some people may experience all of these symptoms while others experience one or two.

The most common symptoms of chickenpox are:

Mild fever. The fever varies between 101º F to 105º F and returns to normal when the blisters have disappeared.

backache

headache

sore throat

a rash (red spots)

blisters filled with fluid

How is Chickenpox Transmitted?

Chickenpox is transmitted through the air. When a patient with chickenpox coughs or sneezes, they expel tiny droplets that carry the chicken pox virus (varicella-zoster virus, VZV). If a person who has never had chicken pox inhales these particles, the virus enters the lungs and is carried through the blood to the skin where it causes the typical rash of chicken pox. The infected droplets cause an initial infection in the respiratory epithelium.

The incubation period of chickenpox is between 10 and 20 days.

Before the typical rash appears, patients often develop a fever, headache, swollen glands and other flu like symptoms.

Skin vesicles contain the virus but are not the primary sources. Scabs are not infectious. Patients are contagious from 2 days before onset of the rash until all lesions have crusted.

Can Chickenpox be prevented?

Chickenpox can be prevented. The easiest way to prevent catching chicken pox is to get vaccinated. However, vaccination is only successful in 70% to 90% of all vaccinations. Individuals, who have been vaccinated but still acquire chickenpox, usually have a milder disease that heals more quickly than non vaccinated individuals.

Chickenpox and Pregnancy

Chickenpox can cause serious problems during pregnancy, especially when infection occurs early in the pregnancy or at the time of delivery. If chickenpox occurs early in pregnancy, several types of fetal abnormalities, including limb abnormalities, scarring of internal organs and neurological damage can occur. Pregnant women who suspect exposure to chickenpox should immediately contact their healthcare provider.

Source : http://www.mamashealth.com/chicken.asp 

Before It's Too Late...

You are Not Only Who Pays...

Missing Husband...

A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband:


Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height


Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy


Woman Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes


Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair


Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing


Woman: I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????


Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.
The woman started crying.....


Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!! !!!!!!

Hindi Joke...

Wife : Darling kuch Saal Pehle Mera Figure COKE Bottle jesa Tha
Husband gusse se bola : Figure To Aaj B Coke jesa hi hai.
Pehle Reguler Bottle thi ab jumbo pack hai.

****************************************
Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
I don’t know what to do?
.
.
.
.
Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…
****************************************
Wife shopping karke wapas aayi,
To husband wife se samaan laate hue bola,
“Zaror Tm Mere Khane K Lye Kch Lai Hogi?”
Wife : Bilkul theek kaha, esme mere new sandel hain!!!
****************************************
Wife : What will u give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband : Le, isme pucchne wali kya baat hai…DHAKKAA!!!
****************************************
Wife to Hubby : Mein tumhari jindagi ki kitab hoon.
Husband : Yehi to afsos hai.
Calendar hoti to har saal change to kar leta!

****************************************  

Experiences Shape Your Reactions...

Our individual reactions to events are shaped by what we ourselves have experienced in our own lives.


Our view of the universe is largely determined by our experiences. It is when we are caught off guard by the spontaneity of existence that we are most apt to respond authentically, even when our feelings do not correspond with those of the multitude. Events that arouse strong emotions with us or are surprising in nature can be disquieting, for it often is in their aftermath that we discover how profoundly our histories have shaped us. The differences that divide us from our peers are highlighted in our reactions when these diverge from the mainstream, and this can be highly upsetting because it forces us to confront the uniqueness of our lives.

When our response to unexpected news or startling ideas is not the same as that of the people around us, we may feel driven by a desire to dismiss our feelings as irrational or incorrect. But reactions themselves are neither right, nor wrong. The forces that sculpted the patterns that to a large extent dictate our development are not the same forces that shaped the development of our relatives, friends, colleagues, or neighbors. There is no reason to believe that one person's reaction to a particular event is somehow more valid than another's. How we respond to the constant changes taking place in the world around us is a product of our history, a testament to our individuality, and a part of the healing process that allows us to address key elements of our past in a context we can grasp in the present.

Life's pivotal events can provide you with a way to define yourself as a unique and matchless being, but you must put aside the judgments that might otherwise prevent you from gaining insight into your distinct mode of interpreting the world. Try to internalize your feelings without categorizing or evaluating them. When you feel unsure of the legitimacy of your reactions, remember that cultural, sociological, spiritual, and familial differences can cause two people to interpret a single event in widely dissimilar ways. Examining your responses outside of the context provided by others can show you that your emotional complexity is something to be valued, for it has made you who you are today.

Quote / Thought for the Day - 1 ( 04-06-2010 )

You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential.

Steve Garvey
**************





Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbour he is making for, no wind is the right wind.

Seneca

*********






In achieving your goals, you may run into roadblocks. Don’t let that stop you, go around, over, or under. If you are committed to your goal you will find a way.

How to Resolve Conflicts with Friends

Fighting with friends is tough all around. We often say things we don't mean and feelings get hurt. Occasionally, no one wants to admit they were wrong and no one wants to apologize; it seems as though the situation is beyond repair. There are many ways to resolve conflicts with friends. Here are some things you can do to start down the road to conflict resolution.

Step 1

Calm down. No one thinks rationally when emotionally worked up. Give yourself time to calm down before even thinking of the subject of the conflict again.

Step 2

Give each other respect. Without first respecting your friend, it is unlikely that the conflict will be resolved amicably.

Step 3

Give each other space. When the conflict has become too heated, walk away.

Step 4

Give each other time. Time to cool off will help all parties involved think things over in a rational manner.

Step 5

Respect each other's space and time. Everybody's different. Your friend may need a week before he is ready to resolve the conflict and you may need only a day. Give him the time he needs.

Step 6

Communicate. Not talking only makes matters worse. Periodically contact your friend to let her know that you still care about her.

Step 7

Listen well. Listen intently and focus on his point of view with an open mind.

Step 8

Choose your words wisely. Avoid accusatory phrases like "you never," "you always" or "why would you."

Step 9

Leave out the "but." When your friend asks if you accept his apology don't say "yes, but..." It's a conditional acceptance and can lead to more hurt feelings. The same goes for "I understand, but.."

Step 10

Let it go. If you can't find common ground, agree to disagree and let it go. Nothing good will come out of the conflict if you don't.

A Boy and Tree ( Good Story )

There was one time a very young boy, who used to spend time playing by a tree.

One day he got bored and he said to the tree, "I'm bored, I've played with these toys too many times!"

The tree replied, "OK, you can climb up on me and play on my branches."

The boy got really happy with this suggestion and he had a lot of fun playing and sitting high up, on the branches of the tree.

When he started school, he spent more time away from the tree, but one day he came back to it, and the tree was overjoyed to see its young companion, and it encouraged him to climb on, but he refused.

"My clothes are going to get dirty if I climb up on you."
So the tree thought for a while, and said, "OK, bring a rope and tie it to me, and you can use my branches as a swing."

The boy liked that idea, so he did that too, and would come back every other day to sit for a while on that swing.

Whenever he used to get hot, the tree told him to rest in its shade.

As he got older, and moved on to college, times became harder on him and he ran short of food, so he went back to the tree which he had stopped visiting for a long time.

The tree recognised him immediately and welcomed him, but he was hungry and complained to the tree, "I don't have any food to eat, my stomach is cringing with hunger."

So the tree said, "Pull down my branches and take off the fruit, and fill yourself up."

The young guy didn't even hesitate, but jumped up and tore off one of the smaller branches and ate to his fill.

Over the weeks, he tore off all the branches and ate all the fruit.

After the fruits had all gone, he went away and didn't come back to the tree.

When he reached his middle ages, he came back to the tree and said to it, "I have been very successful in life.

I have earned a lot of money, I have a huge house and I have found a great wife.

Now I want to travel and see the world."

The tree was now very old, but to help its long time companion, it didn't wait, and said, "Bring a saw, cut off my trunk and make a boat. Then you will see the wonders of the world."

So again, without hesitation the man cut down the tree.

The same tree which he had played on, ate its fruit, laid in its shade; he cut it down and made a boat.

As soon as it was finished, he sailed away and wasn't seen by his people again.

One day, an old man, walked past the tree.

It hadnt recovered from the time he had cut it down. He went up to the tree, but didn't say anything.

He felt the tears coming down from his eyes.

This time the tree spoke in a faint voice, "I'm sorry. I don't have a trunk for you to climb, nor fruit for you to eat, nor branches of shade for you to lie in. All I have now are my deep roots."

The old man whispered, "That's fine. Tree roots are the best place to lie down, snuggle up and sleep after a long life."

The tree symbolizes our parents, and the boy symbolizes us.

The moral of the story is that we make use of our parents like tissue, and use them all up, and don't even give thanks, but they stay with us till the very end.