Mom's Obession

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money.Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."

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App	Ams-soft Photo Collage Maker 1.42
App	Daemon Tools Pro 4.10.0218
App	Amigo DVD Ripper 2.8.86
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App	Video Convert Split Merge Studio 6.9.8.1
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App	XP Smoker Pro 5.3
App	Realworld Icon Editor 2006.2
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App	Machinist's Calculator 5.0.44

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App	YouTube Get 4.0
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App	JetAudio Plus 7.0.3.3016vx
App	Print File List Pro 1.0.15
App	Autodesk AutoCAD Architecture 2008
App	D'Accord Guitar Chord Dictionary 3.0
App	D'Accord Easy Tuner 3.0
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App	Microsoft Office 2003 Professional SP3 Integrated
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App	Recover My Files 3.98
App	Steganos Privacy Suite 2008
App	Advanced Uninstaller Pro 8.5.3
App	WebsitePacker 1.1.0.37
App	Hard Drive Inspector 2.61
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App	IncrediFlash XTreme 1.2
App	IncrediMail Xe Premium 5.68
App	Babylon Professional 7.0.0.13
App	WinHex 14.6
App	Hacker Smacker
App	System Mechanic 7 PRO
App	Apple QuickTime Pro 7.3.0.70
App	Alchemy Mindworks Animation Workshop 2
App	DVDInfo Pro 4.7.0.0
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App	IDA Pro Advanced - SDK for IDA Pro 5.1
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App	Norton Partition Magic 8.05
App	i-Sound WMA MP3 Recorder Pro 6.82.0
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Giant Dalmatian

Footprints

One day a man having conversation with god when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time.

He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints.

He asked god "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??"

To which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you"

*******

Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time.

I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints.

I asked my PM, "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??"

To which my PM answered, "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you... You see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times I was "sitting on your head !!!"

Its all about Wives

Its all about Wives

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

************

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

************

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong .

************

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."

I asked her, "Where's the car?"

She replied, "In the lake."

************

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

************

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

************

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.

So I got myself two girlfriends.

************

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

************

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

************

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same: "You can have mine."

*************

It's not true that married men live longer than single men.

It only seems longer.

*************

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

*************

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.

The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

**************

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

**************