Experiences Shape Your Reactions...

Our individual reactions to events are shaped by what we ourselves have experienced in our own lives.


Our view of the universe is largely determined by our experiences. It is when we are caught off guard by the spontaneity of existence that we are most apt to respond authentically, even when our feelings do not correspond with those of the multitude. Events that arouse strong emotions with us or are surprising in nature can be disquieting, for it often is in their aftermath that we discover how profoundly our histories have shaped us. The differences that divide us from our peers are highlighted in our reactions when these diverge from the mainstream, and this can be highly upsetting because it forces us to confront the uniqueness of our lives.

When our response to unexpected news or startling ideas is not the same as that of the people around us, we may feel driven by a desire to dismiss our feelings as irrational or incorrect. But reactions themselves are neither right, nor wrong. The forces that sculpted the patterns that to a large extent dictate our development are not the same forces that shaped the development of our relatives, friends, colleagues, or neighbors. There is no reason to believe that one person's reaction to a particular event is somehow more valid than another's. How we respond to the constant changes taking place in the world around us is a product of our history, a testament to our individuality, and a part of the healing process that allows us to address key elements of our past in a context we can grasp in the present.

Life's pivotal events can provide you with a way to define yourself as a unique and matchless being, but you must put aside the judgments that might otherwise prevent you from gaining insight into your distinct mode of interpreting the world. Try to internalize your feelings without categorizing or evaluating them. When you feel unsure of the legitimacy of your reactions, remember that cultural, sociological, spiritual, and familial differences can cause two people to interpret a single event in widely dissimilar ways. Examining your responses outside of the context provided by others can show you that your emotional complexity is something to be valued, for it has made you who you are today.

Quote / Thought for the Day - 1 ( 04-06-2010 )

You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential.

Steve Garvey
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Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbour he is making for, no wind is the right wind.

Seneca

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In achieving your goals, you may run into roadblocks. Don’t let that stop you, go around, over, or under. If you are committed to your goal you will find a way.

How to Resolve Conflicts with Friends

Fighting with friends is tough all around. We often say things we don't mean and feelings get hurt. Occasionally, no one wants to admit they were wrong and no one wants to apologize; it seems as though the situation is beyond repair. There are many ways to resolve conflicts with friends. Here are some things you can do to start down the road to conflict resolution.

Step 1

Calm down. No one thinks rationally when emotionally worked up. Give yourself time to calm down before even thinking of the subject of the conflict again.

Step 2

Give each other respect. Without first respecting your friend, it is unlikely that the conflict will be resolved amicably.

Step 3

Give each other space. When the conflict has become too heated, walk away.

Step 4

Give each other time. Time to cool off will help all parties involved think things over in a rational manner.

Step 5

Respect each other's space and time. Everybody's different. Your friend may need a week before he is ready to resolve the conflict and you may need only a day. Give him the time he needs.

Step 6

Communicate. Not talking only makes matters worse. Periodically contact your friend to let her know that you still care about her.

Step 7

Listen well. Listen intently and focus on his point of view with an open mind.

Step 8

Choose your words wisely. Avoid accusatory phrases like "you never," "you always" or "why would you."

Step 9

Leave out the "but." When your friend asks if you accept his apology don't say "yes, but..." It's a conditional acceptance and can lead to more hurt feelings. The same goes for "I understand, but.."

Step 10

Let it go. If you can't find common ground, agree to disagree and let it go. Nothing good will come out of the conflict if you don't.

A Boy and Tree ( Good Story )

There was one time a very young boy, who used to spend time playing by a tree.

One day he got bored and he said to the tree, "I'm bored, I've played with these toys too many times!"

The tree replied, "OK, you can climb up on me and play on my branches."

The boy got really happy with this suggestion and he had a lot of fun playing and sitting high up, on the branches of the tree.

When he started school, he spent more time away from the tree, but one day he came back to it, and the tree was overjoyed to see its young companion, and it encouraged him to climb on, but he refused.

"My clothes are going to get dirty if I climb up on you."
So the tree thought for a while, and said, "OK, bring a rope and tie it to me, and you can use my branches as a swing."

The boy liked that idea, so he did that too, and would come back every other day to sit for a while on that swing.

Whenever he used to get hot, the tree told him to rest in its shade.

As he got older, and moved on to college, times became harder on him and he ran short of food, so he went back to the tree which he had stopped visiting for a long time.

The tree recognised him immediately and welcomed him, but he was hungry and complained to the tree, "I don't have any food to eat, my stomach is cringing with hunger."

So the tree said, "Pull down my branches and take off the fruit, and fill yourself up."

The young guy didn't even hesitate, but jumped up and tore off one of the smaller branches and ate to his fill.

Over the weeks, he tore off all the branches and ate all the fruit.

After the fruits had all gone, he went away and didn't come back to the tree.

When he reached his middle ages, he came back to the tree and said to it, "I have been very successful in life.

I have earned a lot of money, I have a huge house and I have found a great wife.

Now I want to travel and see the world."

The tree was now very old, but to help its long time companion, it didn't wait, and said, "Bring a saw, cut off my trunk and make a boat. Then you will see the wonders of the world."

So again, without hesitation the man cut down the tree.

The same tree which he had played on, ate its fruit, laid in its shade; he cut it down and made a boat.

As soon as it was finished, he sailed away and wasn't seen by his people again.

One day, an old man, walked past the tree.

It hadnt recovered from the time he had cut it down. He went up to the tree, but didn't say anything.

He felt the tears coming down from his eyes.

This time the tree spoke in a faint voice, "I'm sorry. I don't have a trunk for you to climb, nor fruit for you to eat, nor branches of shade for you to lie in. All I have now are my deep roots."

The old man whispered, "That's fine. Tree roots are the best place to lie down, snuggle up and sleep after a long life."

The tree symbolizes our parents, and the boy symbolizes us.

The moral of the story is that we make use of our parents like tissue, and use them all up, and don't even give thanks, but they stay with us till the very end.

Jokes...

Sales man : Sir, which shaving cream do u use ?
Customer : Kumar’s.
S.M : Which after shave do y use ?
C : Kumar’s.
S.M : Which tooth paste do u use ?
C : Kumar’s ?
S.M : Which shampoo do u use ?
C : Kumar’s.
S.M : Sir , what is this kumar’s is
It an international company ?
C : No, he is my room mate.


All flowers don't represent love but rose did it.
All animals cannot speak but parrot did it.
All donkeys cannot read but u did it!


Ur Tarriff plan has changed!
Now make calls acc. To d size of ur Brain.
D smaller d brain, d cheaper will b d calls.
Don't worry yaar, u can make free calls!!


Easy to say - Difficult to stay..
Beautiful to feel - Difficult to deal...
Difficulty is a part of Life...
But That's the reason...
Why Girlfriend is never a wife?


Q:) Why do Gods stay up in heaven?
A:) Because they are afraid of what they have created!

The Art of Giving

"Rivers do not drink their own water, nor do tree eat their own fruit, nor do rain clouds eat the grains reared by them. The wealth of the noble is used solely for the benefit of others?

Even after accepting that giving is good and that one must learn to give, several questions need to be answered.

The first question is 'when should one give?'

Yudhisthir asks a beggar seeking alms to come the next day. On this, Bhim rejoices, that Yudhisthir his brother, has conquered death! For he is sure that he will be around tomorrow to give. Yudhisthir gets the message.

One does not know really whether one will be there tomorrow to give! The time to give therefore is NOW.

The next question is 'how much to give?'

One recalls the famous incident from history.

Rana Pratap was reeling after defeat from the Moghals. He had lost his army , he had lost his wealth , and most important he had lost hope, his will to fight.

At that time in his darkest hour , his erstwhile minister Bhamasha came seeking him and placed his entire fortune at the disposal of Rana Pratap. With this, Rana Pratap raised an army and lived to fight another day.

The answer to this question how much to give is " Give as much as you can!

The next question is 'what to give?'

It is not only money that can be given. It could be a flower or even a smile. It is not how much one gives but how one gives that really matters.

When you give a smile to a stranger that may be the only good thing received by him in days and weeks!

"You can give anything but you must give with your heart !

One also needs answer to this question 'whom to give?'

Many times we avoid giving by finding fault with the person who is seeking.

However, being judgmental and rejecting a person on the presumption that he may not be the most deserving is not justified.

"Give without being judgmental!"

Next we have to answer 'How to give?

Coming to the manner of giving, one has to ensure that the receiver does not feel humiliated, nor the giver feels proud by giving.

'Let not your left hand know what your right hand gives?

Charity without publicity and fanfare, is the highest form of charity.

'Give quietly !

While giving let not the recipient feel small or humiliated.

After all what we give never really belonged to us.

We come to this world with nothing and will go with nothing.

The thing gifted was only with us for a temporary period.

Why then take pride in giving away something which really did not belong to us?

Give with grace and with a feeling of gratitude.

What should one feel after giving ?

We all know the story of Eklavya. When Dronacharya asked him for his right thumb as "Guru = Dakshina".

He unhesitatingly cut off the thumb and gave it to Dronacharya.

There is a little known sequel to this story.. Eklavya was asked whether he ever regretted the act of giving away his thumb when he was dying.

His reply was "Yes ! I regretted this only once in my life. It was when Pandavas were coming in to kill Dronacharya who was broken hearted on the false news of death of his son Ashwathama and had stopped fighting.

It was then that I regretted the loss of my thumb.

If the thumb was there, no one could have dared hurt my Guru?

The message to us is clear.

Give and never regret giving !

And the last question is ' How much should we provide for our heirs ?

Ask yourself , 'Are we taking away from them the "gift of work? - a source of happiness!'

The answer is given by Warren Buffett: "Leave your kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing!"

I would conclude by saying: let us learn the Art of Giving, and quoting

Sant Kabir:

"When the wealth in the house increases ,

When water fills a boat ,

Throw them out with both hands !

This is the wise thing to do!

Shared From: http://funlok.com/index.php/mail-forwards/the-art-of-giving-09112009.html

Use of Mineral Salts

1. Calcium keeps the brain healthy and is mainly found in beans, grains, and pulses.

2. Our brain requires sodium and can be obtained from pulses, cheese. It is normally found in all the edible items and common salt is also sodium.

3. Our brain also requires iron, which is found in green vegetables, pulses, beans, groundnuts etc.

4. Potassium also strengthens the body and pulses, green leafy vegetables, beans, cereals, milk, fruits especially banana and orange are good source of potassium.

5. Zinc keeps the brain in proper condition and can be obtained from beans, cereals, and pulses. These items should be included in our daily diet.

6. Magnesium strengthens the mind. It is found in soyabeans, milk, green vegetables, pulses, well water etc.

7. Fluoride gives the brain the ability to think and understand. Fluoride is found in tea, coffee, soyabean and drinking water.

8. Copper is very essential for the brain and the best sources are cereals, mushroom, green peas, beans etc.

9. Selenium refreshes the mind and makes it strong. Selenium is found in whole grains, milk, cheese, vegetables etc.